Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
