I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
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