so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
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Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
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At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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