see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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