I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
