I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
