You just made me feel so damn special
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
