hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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