Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize