Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
