Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
