he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
