I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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