When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
