Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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