no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
