Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
