who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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