R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
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eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.