Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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