what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
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