For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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