Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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