I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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