so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
