is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
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This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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