): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
