My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
why is half of my head shaved?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
