you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
