But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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