just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize