That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
