U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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