Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize