yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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