I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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