life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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