saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
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He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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