The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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