wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize