There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
