thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
