why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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