you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
