So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
