Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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