i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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