He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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