I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
