haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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