Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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