Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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