I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
